My dearest Friend.
How can I thank you for sharing all those video clips, tagging me in innumerable facebook posts and for the countless PDFs you've sent me via instant messenger? You did the right thing in reaching out to me with your cornucopia of captivating counter-narratives. I apologise for the tardy response but it was such a weight of material through which to plough and I didn't want to pass judgement without first fully digesting this mind-busting banquet of food for thought. You'll be glad to know, I've watched the videos, read every article and followed all the links and since you ask, here's my response….
Wow! Where to begin? Seriously, wow! these David Icke, Alex Jones and Dylan Avery fellas have succeeded where centuries of scholarship have failed in illuminating such a simple unified theory of EVERYTHING. I'm not surprised by your Messianic worship of these figures. they are not only geniuses and prophets but more importantly, their uncanny ability to swim against the tide of facts and then leapfrog logic is nothing short of miraculous. They have not only found the end of the rainbow and, once there, not only found the pot of gold but they've also been selfless enough to come all the way back to tell us about it - shame the one time it happened there were no batteries in the camcorder and their GPS phone was on the blink. (this kinda reminds me of that kid at school who said he had all the Star Wars figures including the rocket-firing Boba Fett but his dad wouldn't let him take them out the loft - poor kid. Did the CIA get to him too?).
Who'd've thunk that The Truth so closely resembles the classic Star Wars trilogy with it's evil empire and righteous rebellion? I never knew The Matrix, ET, Inception and Porky's were documentaries. I never knew that distinguishing between good an bad people was as simple as identifying who was wearing the white Stetson and who is twirling their moustaches. How come the medical world (every doctor, every nurse, every peer-review publication, every medical student and every textbook of every university all over the NWO) is wilfully colluding to let millions die each day and yet some work-shy Jehst-wannabe can find the cure for AIDS on Google? You are privy to all this forbidden knowledge and yet you couldn't even get five gold stars on your McDonalds uniform? How come you're so deft at pinning the label on the " petty-bourgeois sheeple Fascists” and yet be so cack-handed with that Ledel price-gun? Curse those darned Free Masons for curbing your use of the key to life, the universe and everything and trapping you at home on the dole. Do you know the freezing/melting/boiling/plasma-point of any other element than Twin-tower steel? Have you authorised Richard Dawking, Simon Cowel and Barack Obama's membership of your Revolutionary Real Rap message board yet? I never thought of placing all my faith in ill-tempered, uneducated, unelected drug-addled illiterate rappers but yeh, you've enlightened me that Jak Progresso, Vinnie Spaz and Killah Priest will succeed where my Community Support officer, social services, town councillers, MP and MEP are destined to betray me. I look forward to seeing Sick Jacken behind the wheel of the gritting truck next time it snows. Ill Bill's spot on when he instructs us to "trust nobody." What with the likes of Jon Gaunt, Glen Beck, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, The Daily Mail and Talksport ranting in one ear and George Galloway, Michael Moore, Non Phixion, Lowkey and Ras Kass being all righteous in the other, it's impossible for a mere mortal such as myself to distinguish fact from fiction and noise from signal. To my confused little mind, it's as if these opposing voices are but two flabby buttocks on the same arse, flapping against each other and coiling out lengths of reductio ad abturdum Godshite.
so From here on in, I will let Braintax and La Coka Nostra do my thinking for me. Now I concede I'm just another sleep-walking zombified corporate apologist (lord knows you've tried to educate me on this score more than enough times) but I have had a go at some further reading. now it's nowhere in the same league as the Truths with which you blessed me but I stumbled across this whimsical jotting from me ol' gal pal Marian Evans-Lewes :
"Your pier-glass (mirror) or extensive surface of polished steel made to be rubbed by a housemaid, will be minutely and multitudinously scratched in all directions; but place now against it a lighted candle as a centre of illumination, and lo! the scratches will seem to arrange themselves in a fine series of concentric circles round that little sun. It is demonstrable that the scratches are going everywhere impartially and it is only your candle which produces the flattering illusion of a concentric arrangement, its light falling with an exclusive optical selection. These things are a parable. The scratches are events, and the candle is the egoism of any person"
(Middlemarch, Chapter XXVII, 1871)
D'ya reckon The Illuminati reprogrammed her? - after all, back then, she wouldn't have had recourse to tin foil from which to fashion a mind-control shield. Lest we forget that those pesky shape-shifting lizards are always hiding in plain sight in the movies:
and I quote:
""This may be hard for you to understand but there is no conspiracy. Nobody is in charge. It's a headless blunder operating under the illusion of a master plan. Can you grasp that? Big Brother is not watching."
But of course, We know better. Finally, congratulations and kudos "What for?" (I hear you ask) Don't be so modest. Congratulations for liberating every elderly, homeless, disabled and disenfranchised person in your community - I mean, I take it you've addressed the immediate needs of "The Great Ignored" on your doorstep before tilting at windmills and taking on nebulous nemeses? I believe it was Gok Wan who said "be the change you want to see" right? Well, #you go girlfriend!#
With genuine love and concern, best wishes -
The CritIQ. XO
ps: FYI.....The plural of "anecdote" is not "data." perpetuating a feedback loop of youtube clips and apocryphal wikipedia entries is not "research." Fatuous questions are not "facts." 3rd-hand urban myths are not "evidence." Idealism is not "analysis." Parrots are never “learned.” Cut'n'pasting online dictionary entries does not make you an etymologist. Listening to Non Phixion and smoking weed all day, every day, doesn't trump actual scholarship, diligent investigative journalism nor years of direct professional experience in any given field of expertise (not even the field of shit rap and marijuana studies) . Chronic masturbation whilst listening to nothing but Canibus and Conspirituality is not a recognised fast track route to attaining a doctorate in structural engineering/Theology/semiology/history/Metallurgy. There's nothing philosophically, politically, linguistically, poetically, theatrically or musically "revolutionary" about these "Revolutionary" rappers you idolise. The only "revolutionary" thing about these graceless one-dimensional rappers is the motion of the CD. In fact, most of them spout the sort of cod mysticism and wonky numerology that the likes of Russell Grant and Derek Acorah would dismiss as Hokus pokus bunkum. If your favourite rapper was as smart as they think they are, they wouldn't be rappers. As for those notorious Truther Fearists you adore? Well, the reason no schools feature their incoherent scribblings in the curriculum is because they are garbage - there's nobody hushing up these pantomime paranoiacs and perennial talkshow pundits who enjoy making an unhealthy living off pretentious dickheads such as You.
pps: From here on in, ***PLEASE*** keep your half-baked magic-beans to yourself.
Ppps: Feel free to share this with all your fellow Truth Seeking buddies.
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